Noggyisms

From the over sanitised NSE Building with its slick interiors and staircase less floors, Shivsagar (a sleepy little town somewhere in Upper Assam) comes as a major culture shock. After the magic of the greenery around has outgrown you and you settle into the rhythm of life with load shedding every 2 hours, it starts getting to u. Between wiping your brow with a hanky that needs to be wrung every 15 mins and dodging pesky little mosquitoes you literally have your hands full. You get out of office and the heat strikes you. It’s bloody hot. The glare of the sun is so intense that is really difficult to move around outside without goggles. And while talking about offices - dilapidated tin sheds are what pass off as the offices of India's most valuable company - wonder where all that profit goes or better still maybe that’s why there is all that profit. From the windows of these ground floor offices (there are no floors above) you cannot peep outside because the grass outside has...

Greenery! That’s the first thing that you notice as you enter Assam. The next thing that attracts attention is the small tin shed that passes off as the Jet Airways office at Jorhat (the small town in Jorhat where we are). Jet probably never had smaller office and certainly not one with benches in it. Checked into the only hotel in town. Very aptly but (un)uniquely called Hotel North East. Kind of seedy place but it’s the only one. Surprise 1: 5 o' clock in the evening and its pitch dark. The sun rises here at around 4a.m. and sets by 4:30 p.m. We are in a different time zone altogether. Not bad. Surprise 2: The security angle is highly overhyped. Sure there is the odd pipeline that is blasted (but nowadays even London has its network of bombings. Morbid, eh? Sorry but humour getting from plain unfunny to twisted.) OK you do find the army guy toting a machine gun patrolling the streets and of course you are not allowed to leave the hotel after 9pm. But that’s more because the...

On the road with Beepy. That’s the river of the vehicle. The weirdo, I guess, just loves the horn. He just doesn’t let go while driving. HONK! A cow on the road. HONK HONK!!! A bus it is. HONK HONK HONK!!!!!!! A car. HOOONKKK HOOONNKKK HHHHOOOOONNNKKK !!!!!!! Nothing in sight for miles on end. Still HONK HONK HONK!!! Why does he honk well that’s the whole point? Thought of calling him Horny bastard but the sexual connotations involved made me choose beepy bastard. the alliteration was also much better. HONK! And he loves to chat! He HONK has three HONK children HONK! Hheheee makes for great conversations. I piece together words in between loud and long HONKS and make sense of what he is trying to say. Let’s leave him to his honking and get to the next weirdo. FARTY!!! Some “in charge” of the plant I am visiting... I enter his room and wish him, "Good Morning," He lifts up his hand in a wave sort of manner asking me to sit somewhere. AND in the same motion, lifts up hi...