ABUSES




A good workday evening, I am back from a hard day’s work (that part is called the story writers fantasy), anyway I am digressing. So ... me back and sitting in room and sign in to msn and yahoo and see if there is anyone who I can chat with. Lo and behold there is manoj online on yahoo. So I begin chatting.
Everything goes well for the first 5 mins. Then there is a knock on the door. Expecting the dhobi I open it and yes it is him. So I give him my clothes and chit chat abt how hot Delhi is and then get back to the chatting business after apologising to manoj for not replying. (U see I can only do one thing at a time and while giving clothes to the dhobi and chatting with him had forgotten that manoj was online.) Anyway digressing again sorry.
So where was I? HMMMM? Ya I get back to my seat and start chatting with manoj again. All of a sudden, there is another knock on the door. Who could that be I wonder? And open the door. Oh it is preeti back from a hard day’s work (writers fantasy again). Anyway so she comes in and starts chking mail. so I go to my chair and am reading a bk. forgot the name ... HMMMM I think it could have been The House of Blue Mangoes by David Davidar. Nice bk by the way. it is abt Kerala and the caste system there and etc etc. ok digressing again. U know u should knock me on the head every time I digress otherwise I never finish the story and u never get to know.
Ok we were ... oh ya I was reading all of a sudden I hear a peal of laughter emanating from preeti. I wonder what the heck is so funny and go to the comp and realise to my utter horror well horror at first and then to my total gaiety (that does not mean I am gay) that she is chatting to manoj as me. Hahahha I laugh (not peal of laughter but just a small hahahaha type of laugh). This is gonna be fun I think.
AND I DIDNT REALISE AT THAT TIME HOW TRUE MY THOUGHTS WERE GOING TO BE. Anyway they chat for some more time and I also butt in a few times like kabab mein haddi (did I tell u how I have never understood that statement, u see kabab can never have haddi.) and put in statements like do u like preeti etc etc and stuff. Finally after the 3rd time I asked the same question manoj can take it no more. He lets out an abuse ... chutiye he says. And this was when I am back at my chair and only preeti is at the comp. so u can imagine here is a girl talking to a guy and he abuses her. HEHHEHEHEHE life is funny. Well then he enlists rohan's help to further abuse me and so rohan becomes manoj and preeti is already abhijit. So there u are u can imagine the confusion. Abhijit is online but it is not Abhijit it is preeti and manoj is online and it is not manoj but rohan. and rohan takes out all the frustration that has been welling in him for 23 yrs, all abt how he was tortured at school, ragged as at college, losing hair, IOC, the not working cooler, the unbearable Delhi heat and every possible thing that has been keeping him dn till now. It all comes out in that one instant and there is a volley of abuses. (Could or could not be writer’s fantasy now)
Now, imagine preeti is at the comp having fun at rohan’s expense; I am standing and waiting for rohan to ans some extremely stupid ques that I have asked, manoj is in the compc oblivious to what is happening in his name and rohan is trying to keep down all the frustrations and the humiliations that he has ever suffered. He thinks of all the times that he has had to do things he has never liked and hates it and it is building up inside him like molten lava inside a volcano.
It is like time has stood still ... it is an image nobody will forget in a hurry, it will be etched in the portals of IIFTs funniest happenings.
and then time moves, the desperation can no longer be confined to himself, if rohan doesn’t let it out now, it will consume him, take him down. And he erupts with a force that u cannot think he could be capable of.
AND HE SAYS: “If u don’t shut up, I will ask AVG to come and suck ur cock" For a second nobody moves. And then the silence is broken, twice. first rohan sighs in relief ... a great weight has been taken off him.
And secondly preeti screams and closes her eyes. "He is abusing me” and screams again. Jharia and nilesh come running from the opp block "what happened" they ask and then everything is normal again. Time moves on ... the offending statements are removed from sight and the world is sane again. It was as if things never happened.
BUT IN ONE WAY THE WORLD WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN...
Preeti would never chat under somebody else's name and rohan would never abuse without knowing whom he was speaking to ... SO SPAKE THE WRITER ... BUT TIME WAS TO PROVE HIM WRONG ON THE FIRST COUNT AT LEAST...
3 mins later...
Rathi, Bijay RAthi our very own, IIFTs finest Bijay Rathi signs in msn messenger. and says hi to me (oh all this was going on yahoo messenger) now Preeti has not learnt her lesson ... I sigh as I anticipate another session of welcome to the world of abuses where u are not u and I am not me (writers fantasy pls excuse) and rathi starts chatting with preeti thinking it was me. One thing leads to another and finally rathi cannot contain himself ... it has been 3 whole mins since he has abused someone and it is (sorry he is, this was typing error not writers fantasy) chatting with nagu. What the heck he thinks and lets lose one of his favs ... GAAND MARAO he says.
And preeti is devastated ... she no longer has faith in mankind. She looks back with this totally "I hate men" kind of look which has desperation; exasperation all mixed into 1 and says with a sigh "ARE ALL U GUYS LIKE THIS?"
EPILOGUE
The story although ending there does not end there, there were apologies to be made, confusions to be sorted and more apologies to be made. Also there were cos to go to, work to be done, summers to be completed. But the writer is tired and the letter is long, and a ppt has to be made.
So that is where it ends
And to quote a bard from the age when travel was done with the help of animals and there were kings and queens who ruled over countries and courts and jesters and plays and actors
"ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL"

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