Pi at the airport – years after the first time when Pi started off

We have all faced delayed flights but there is something that can real beat the crap out of us when we face delayed flights and that is meeting people you really don’t want to be meeting … maybe an old batchmate.
You see batchmates can be classified normally into two groups i.e. people you are in touch with (by default either they are good friends or you have some business requirement for you to be in touch with them – less of the former more of the latter) and those you are not in touch with (again some of them maybe marginally not abominable but then there is no reason to stay in touch with them and the rest who you would rather not meet even if they were the last alive human beings in a world being destroyed by evil Godzilla sized creatures breathing fire and farting cyanide gas).
Now you will ask where and how all this ties up with the a delayed flight – think of the worst that can happen (comes just below the Godzilla attack) and much above a horrid case of loosies when you are on a date and wearing light colored clothing – your flight is delayed, you have reached the airport hours before you need to, smirking at the thought of others who would just about make it on time to find that there are additional security measures and they would not get their flight – recession topped with extra costs (SMIRK SMIRK).
And then the unthinkable happens – you meet Mr. ABOMINABLE himself (could easily be herself – don’t know which is worse though). You first duck, try to hide behind a large sized person (OBESE was just trying to be politically correct) and it almost works and you try to sneak out still sticking to Big Man’s ass (shitty graphical stuff – don’t even imagine it) when suddenly your heart skips a beat … the A man has spotted you and called out your name AND waved at you with a stupid grin on his face (the one which says … ah well let’s eat his head today … shouldn’t bother about flatulence for the day).
In these days of terror attacks and security checks any attempt at hiding/running away from people waving (much less calling your name) would mean a bullet in an orifice of the body where things should come out. Not a good thought.
So you curse your luck, smile outwardly, wave back and walk in SLOW MOTION towards A man all the while hoping you would wake up NOW!
A MAN suddenly envelops you in a bear hug and while you cringe at the sudden physical proximity and the fact that you would be publically seen in the guy’s company, you are also very thankful that he hasn’t smooched you or something. Now while I am very pro gay rights and have no issues with PDA (public display of affection for all you people thinking of mobiles – GOTCHA ☺) I DO have an issue if any of the above happens to me by A MAN or anyone else who I do not want it from. I smile at the sudden kindness from the BIG GUY above (not the security guard you dumb fuck I meant GOD) and horror of horrors A MAN thinks it’s the sheer pleasure of meeting him.
Anyway trying to get away from the general public, I lead A MAN away from crowds to a secluded area (no no its certainly not what you think, it’s called let’s not be seen in public with the man).
By this time A MAN has launched into an offensive about how his life has been interspersed with question about my life and without waiting for answers launching into another round of his exploits in life. This is ofcourse fine by me … he can do all the talking as far as I am concerned … I will nod, smile and make appropriate noises. This is how this one works … 
Statement - I got married. Reaction to him – WOW congrats … Reaction in head – really someone agreed … if I believed in the whole reincarnation bull she would have been a serial rapist in her past life.
Statement – I have been travelling BLAH BLAH BLAH. Reaction to him – Good for you … Reaction in head – YAWN



Statement – Recession means I had a pay cut … Reaction to him – Aw so sorry to hear … Reaction in head – They didn’t fire you?
Statements about life, work etc etc. Reaction to him – nod, smile … repeat in a minute again. Reaction in head – imagine him balancing on his head on the rim of an unflushed public toilet. (I dig toilet humour SO WHAT).
Anyway this is how it ends – if you are really lucky he suddenly has pulmonary thrombosis or one of those big named diseases which makes you fall, froth at the mouth and die immediately (would have said something like Ebola but that’s supposed to be highly infectious and I am right next to him remember)… if you are just about lucky one of you has a flight which has been called and has to leave. If you are unlucky both flights are delayed but eventually there are 2 FLIGHTS which means it’s not that BAD yet! And if you are really unlucky there is only one flight and it is DELAYED (if it’s the last mentioned case consider suicide as a reasonable option … with that kind of luck there is no chance of a normal inheritance from MOMA and PAPA forget rich uncles who suddenly plonk off leaving you with fortunes and ofcourse you would already have a job which pays a pittance).
End of story – I was not really lucky man didn’t die but I was just lucky he had to leave since his flight was announced.
But then my flight was still delayed so Pi decided to take a look at the general public around him and make smart ass comments ofcourse here and not at them. He might be eccentric but certainly not needing a strait jacket although a lot of people might disagree.
So here goes lots of people with laptops open talking loudly into their phones about presentations to be made and how the work needs to be done – as if, if they left the company the next day … the firm would shut down … really there needs to be a threshold level of bloated heads … they ofcourse keep looking around also to make sure people notice them … some slouch into their seats and read, solve puzzles or just stare into space (aliens probably) … and the choicest few make mental notes while reading Dilbert and promise to write about the same (Pi).
Flight announced – got to eat, visit the loo and try and get a window seat … toodle doo and toodle dum … all for now.
P.S.
1. A MAN is Mr. Abominable not some random stranger giving out hugs and kisses.
2. I suffer from schizophrenic multiple personality disorder so throughout the above verbal diarrhoea