Hmmm


Saw ‘ Paris je t’aime’ last night. Interesting movie liked the concept and most of the stories not to mention some really nice music.

Tried to get back to sleep post that and somehow certain things didn’t let me. A strange restlessness has taken over and refuses to leave me. I am not even sure about what the restlessness is. There are a couple of things which could contribute to it. Pure conjecture of course since I cannot or maybe do not want to pinpoint the exact reason for the “existential dilemma” that’s plaguing me.

Well there is the office stuff which is bothering me. I am not sure if it is change or the fact that given there is a possibility of a new boss more so a person who I cannot stand for reasons unknown … I just hate certain people is all.

Given that the possibility could change to a reality I think up ways and means to avoid the situation. I could do this or that or the other but then I should think about the bonus and maybe about an increment coming up. But is that enough to suffer in silence and fake grins for a horrible boss? I would need to quit for sure.

Also if I have to change then it brings with it then whole new set of why, where and how. Do I change cities, companies or just processes … what will the new colleagues be like and such inanities keep playing ping pong in my head.

The movie came as a welcome relief. But it also brought with it its own share of mind fucking gripes. And that as they say is another story.

In one of the shots, there is a woman saying how Paris is such a beautiful place and she wished she had someone to share that beauty with.

Got me thinking … it’s been some time since I had someone to share the better moments of life with. I am 30 (well crossed 30 actually) have nothing to show for myself in terms of a personal life. Professionally I am not bad, I guess but look at the personal life and what do I have to show.

A handful of friends (not 262 like Facebook says), failed relationships and that’s it. Period. Nothing more. Nada.

Where do I want to be what do I want to do? Who knows? But is not what I had imagined life will be at 30.

I could numb my brain with books, music and movies but somewhere again the germ surfaces, the virus attacks and the immunity suffers. The mind wanders again and I wonder. What next?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NRC, CAB and it always being US vs Them

It has been a crazy few days in India. Travelling keeps you away from daily news. You tend to follow the news dispassionately. It does not effect your day to day life and inteferes with enjoying the vacation. But deep down it bothers. The fact that a once all inclusive country which has been variously described as an amalgamation of cultures, a 'thali' with all its separate ingredients which will not mix but will form a perfect plate together is now being beaten and bull dozed into a porridge bowl where we will be a congealed mass of hatred and suspicion of the other. Us and Them. US vs Them.  The CAB, a bill passed by a majoritarian parliament where politicians are more interested in gerry mandering to their vote bank rather than looking at building an inclusive India. Along with the NRC, it is an attempt to keep one particular community (Muslims) out of the country. SO here are some details. The CAB says that all people who are either Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Christi...
Read more

It is all about accepting differences - spoiler alert

I have never reviewed a movie, much less a series. In fact, there were a lot of firsts with this series, Made in Heaven. It is the first Indian web series, I have watched It is the first series, I have binge watched It is the first series, I have rewatched (all 9 episodes, no less) And now it shall be the first series I write about Quite a hard hitting series and so tastefully done! When you include ostentatious weddings, systemic misogyny, anti LGBT rhetoric, myopic views, current political climate, the complete lack of correlation between being educated and belief in superstition and the intersection of class with progress, you have a huge canvas to work on. To be able to do that, without coming across as preachy is a skillful act by itself. To be able to do that without judging is pure art. There were two scenes that stand out for me. The second (which I shall write about first) was where the male protagonist spends some time in prison under article 377 and comes out to mee...
Read more

Winning doesn't mean it is right

Image
SO the results are out. The 2019 general elections to constitute the 17th Lok Sabha that took place over a month culminated in this day - May 23rd 2019. The BJP (forming the NDA along with its allies), won a landslide victory. A party with its narrative steeped in virulent nationalism, focusing on an India which is a far cry from the ideals on which the nation was born. A country which was aptly described by Shashi Tharoor in his book, The Great Indian Novel as a thali where different items are not mashed up but come together as a meal rather than a porridge which is a mish mash of everything and individuality doesn't stand out - that is the India we know of and we strive to cherish. A country which is vast and resplendent in its diversity but is now under threat of becoming a porridge. A porridge of hatred towards the other, anger towards anyone who doesn't tow the official line that manifests itself in lynchings, right wing trolls threatening rape and murder and at its n...
Read more