Noggyisms

Twice every year, we have the meeting of the minds where half a dozen or so people come together and decide the lives, fates and careers of the rest of the people who unfortunately through the hand of fate have been in their respective teams. The bonhomie at the start is in no way an indication of things to come. Things start slowly. People have rated each of their own team members at the very top. And then they start reading out the respective accomplishments. Listen to one of them and you would think without these people around, the company would have closed down. Each one has his or her unique style. Shrek has an amazing ability to talk round and round and about nothing in particular. If he had his way, he would have probably started during the time dinosaurs roamed the world and then come down to present day. Maybe he would have also said his team member can bring about world peace if given an opportunity. The One Who is Destined to Wait (TOWiDtW) and The Jr Small B often ha...

I caught a couple of shows of the Dewarists (pronounced Do-er-ists) and was hooked on. It brings together musicians from across the country (and outside) and get them to jam together and at the end of each week's episode compose a song. These songs are freely available for download at the official website of the Dewarists.  What actually got me hooked to it was actually at first only the pronunciation of the word rather than the actual program itself. The word, it seems, owes its existence to a certain Sir Thomas Dewar who started his own brand of Scotch called Dewar a century and a half ago. Well, technically his dad started the brand and he publicized it world wide. Nothing great about that except, it happens to be the first brand to use a motion picture to advertise the product, the world's first whisky documentary and it was sent to the US President once and that caused a whole lot of hullabaloo because the President chap accepted a forei...

The best place to observe all these lovely people is at the airport. Most of the 'NRI public' (I love that phrase) would be at their accented best. So you would hear 'Dilli English' with the American twang, you would have American bong and the best the Hindi English. So while the first 2 would be probably on the phone, the last would be to people around especially if it is a couple who know there are people nearby. So you would hear, 'we sood have the baarger. Maine bola tha you should get the stuffs. I was staying for 5 years here so I don't have issue. O God, you are so phunny. Osum it is. ' Next in line are the newly wed wives of the long settled in Amrika lads. I hate to be sexist but I guess the newly wed husbands of the long settled wives did not really stand out or maybe it was just a wrong day at the airport. They would keep looking here and there very scared and hanging on to the husbands' coattails not that the man in question would know a...

It is not funny how many Indians there are in the States. For instance, there are lots of Indian taxi drivers, who immediately start talking in accented Hindi and then switch the radio to stations which play old Hindi movie songs. I am not sure why, I have never listened to them in my life and I definitely don't want to. Ofcourse they keep telling me that NY is not a good place and people are struggling here and India is always a better place. Dude, have you seen the cab/auto drivers back home? They would love to trade places. Except the Bangalore auto guys me thinks, they wouldn't be able to fleece as much or break the road rules. Then the other day, (let us not get into why) I went with a bunch of people to some 'Dusshera mela'. It was the day I landed in NY and I had the surprise of my life. I land from India and here was India again. I couldn't spot a single foreigner. It was like a whole city had just emigrated and decided to celebrate Dusshera. I even had ...

First impressions of the city that never sleeps is that it does sleep! You see I am not in the Manhattany part of town. I am in Brooklyn which would be to NY what Hosur is to people from Bangalore or worse still, Hoskote (snigger snigger to that one person).  And Brooklyn tucks in, early that too. When I walk around for dinner, heading to a watering hole nearby and then walk back from there, all I see are lonely stretches of road. Once in a while, you would have someone walking their dog but otherwise nothing that is living. Not even a street dog, which is a pity since some of them could be ideally friends when I am bored!  Yesterday, there was one lady who kept telling me that her mother had passed away and she was trying to fill gas and she wanted 20 dollars. Not looking like she had a car around in the direction she pointed in, I very politely and patiently explained to her how I did not have any money since I was living in that nice hotel and I had left everything in...

Ever wondered what it is about Mallus and Bongs and the similarities? The only 2 states of the country which have democratically elected communist governments for the longest periods of time, they love their food and drink (fish and rice and whisky), love their football and also love to endlessly argue or discuss matters over the aforesaid drinking sessions. Being, ofcourse quite knowledgable about a variety of issues the discussions could be around lots of different topics but mainly would focus on the political scenario of the country. So as the drinking sessions grow longer, the body alcohol levels go higher, the tones would also get stronger and the discussions more heated as to who is right. Being a mallu who was brought up in Calcutta, i was exposed to both worlds without really belonging to either. With my cousins i Kerala, who would understand little about the Bong world, I would be always the person who is away from everything around them and speak Malayalam with st...

So October it was when I was getting my first stamp on my passport and where was I headed? The Big Apple itself. New York, New York as Sinatra once said. After a bumpy few days when I was trying to figure out when I was leaving and what I would be doing, it was finally decided that I would be off on the 8th to reach on the 9th and then back after almost a month. All good except for a few hiccups like not having the email approval as yet. Last minute running around for tickets, forex hotel reservation and flight tickets completed and I was off. The AI direct flight to JFK would have been a major pain if it had not been empty. The seats suck, they push back only enough for you let you think you have actually moved, the in flight entertainment system is missing sound/video or both for some seats and the alcohol, I think I have better stuff at home. Landing at JFK is actually quite a let down. Post the glamour of both Delhi and Bangalore airports, JFK was what a person living in one ...

The Janlokpal Bill is the one that is being debated. It envisages a body (called the Lokpal) which would try and judge cases related to corruption et al. My issues with this are: 1. We have a judicial system in place, bringing that under the Lokpal ambit would make the Lokpal too powerful without checks. There is no guarantee that the Lokpal will be above corruption, is there? If the judicial system is not under the ambit of Lokpal, then we are lengthening the already long judicial process. Any pronouncements by the Lokpal would be challenged in the courts. This would be just a waste of money in setting up and continuing with a Lokpal body. 2. In any democracy, the investigative body and the judicial body have to be separate. As an example, I mean, the police can investigate but not pronounce judgement. The Lokpal does not have this important seclusion of the two. So they would be the people investigating and the same ones passing judgement even though fundamentally they would be d...

Of all the dealers I went to, Bimal was offering me the best deal in terms of freebies (sunfilm, teflon coating, underbody coating and a 10% discount on seat covers). I also liked dealing with the salesman even though his every second word was "Sir". I really wanted to tell him the Queen had not knighted me busy as she was with the grandson's wedding. But I held my tongue! The booking amount paid, now the only thing to do was wait. I was told that June 1st week would be when I would be getting the car and I was by now almost salivating at the thought of driving an Sx4. There is something that I had left out when I was choosing the car - ever since the SX4 was unveiled in India, I wanted one. There was no analytical spreadsheet behind it, there was no logical reasoning behind it. It just had to be something that I would drive one day. I guess, that did bias my choice in vehicles to a great extent. Anyway as the calendar inched closer to turn of the month, my good, sm...

Just when you thought that  Subramanian Swamy was lost in the wilderness of politicians not in power, he lifts his head and writes an article that was bound to raise heckles.  First things first though. Who is Subbu Swamy?  A politician from Tamil Nadu, he first came into prominence during the Emergency when he protested against the same and then went overseas to garner global media attention on the same.  He went on to head the Janata Party and was a Member of Parliament and was at one point of time a part of the Planning Commission. Off late, having been sidelined because of no noteworthy support among the mainstream, he has had to come up with  startlingly tall claims to remain in the public glare.   The latest article ( Link ), however, does come as a surprise even by his standards. In brief, SS (Oh does it remind one of Nazi Germany?) dreams of an India which is a Hindu state. Not a problem with that, many others have demanded the same. Com...

Delhi Belly released to rave reviews all round and piqued (the promos did their bit not to mention the song, DK Bose) as we were, off we trooped to watch it. 90 minutes later we were out. The best way to judge a movie would be, IMO, the number scenes/lines quoted from the same once you are out. On this criteria, the movie rocked. It was laugh riot. From the time it started with the "ass crack" frame to the point it ended with Aamir Khan's faux hairy chest, there were abuses, laughs and comic timing in plenty. I guess this would be the first adult comedy in India on the lines of the immortal American Pie (the first one, since the later ones tend to degenerate into soft porn almost) and Austin Powers (Mike Myers with that unforgettable "Do I make you horny" line?). Brilliantly irreverent, the only well known lead actor doesn't steal the show but some of the others do, notably Poorna Jaganathan (I have always been a sucker for short haired women). Smolder...

TS Eliot called books "the still point of the turning world". He was right. There is nothing like a good book, beer and music for me to spend some much needed unplugging from the world. I read an article recently, ( link ), which talked about surviving getting distracted and realized how true it was. There was a time when I picked up a book and didn't put it down till I finished it or if it was long enough would wait to get back from work to go back to devouring it.  Today, there remains on my bed 4 unfinished books, 2 more beside the laptop and a couple more in the shelves. They have been picked up, started and then orphaned due to demands on time due to women, phone, FB, mail and office work (not necessarily in that order).  The act of reading, for me, meant an escape from the madness that was the world. When I picked up a book, all I could think of were the words, descriptions, language and waiting for the next moment. It is not that books have become worse. ...

Today is Father's day. So we shall have inane cards, offers on food and clothing, crazy ideas et al. Everything except true emotion. Right, down to me dad, who I would assume would read this some days hence (when Mom actually gets him to sit, saying your son has written something about you.) Love you Dad. My memories of my dad revolve around 3 stages of my life - learning to cycle and drive, the time I was pursuing my Chartered Accountancy and ofcourse now. The first part about the time I started to learn how to cycle. I remember it was a BSA (I forget which one, though). So weekend mornings, we would go off to the lake (for the benefit of non 'Calcuttans' - it's a nice green area with a lake surrounded by roads where vehicles are not around, dominated till today by morning walkers, toddlers and cyclists. So that is where we would go - me cycling, dad walking behind holding on to the cycle. I think the walk did him good though! :P That slowly graduated to him wa...

So the D-day dawns. The wait should be over today. Flashback April '06 - 4 months into living in Bangalore and life had come to be defined by "arguments with auto drivers". That is when I first realized the importance of owning a vehicle. It saved the 'lazy me' a lot of unnecessary auto to auto walk before finding one and still getting fleeced. City traffic necessitated the owing of a second hand car at that time (and the financial situation). Buying a car, at that time, did not involve extensive research. I walked into a True Value showroom (had no predetermined notion on what and what not) looking at the various options and mentally calculating monthly outgo. I test drove only one car - a silver Zen and quite liked how small (can park anywhere including on the road in front of the house since there was no parking), easy to manoeuvre (have you seen the traffic), smooth it was. One test drive was enough for me and I was ready to buy it. On hindsight (which...

Read this  piece from the New Yorker. It is written by Jhumpa Lahiri and is a brief about the journey to becoming a writer. A couple of things stood out. "I listen to him, and at the same time I have learned not to listen, to wander to the edge of the precipice and to leap. ... Born of my inability to belong, it is my refusal to let go." I know a few friends of mine who have followed their heart. The X is one of them so is  Theater  Namesake. I admire them. In a way, they have managed to do exactly what they want and quit what they were doing for no other reason other than wanting to follow their heart. I want to do it too. But I haven't figured out what it is that I want to do. And till the  catharsis  is complete, I am holed up here today. The X called it a parking spot. Then I used to make fun of her. Today I realize it is exactly what I am doing. I am not going to the edge of the  precipice  and taking the plunge. Years earlier, in...

Considering the nature of posts here and comments on FB of late, I have been asked whether I am gay (more often than not, not in jest). And the logic of that being my support for gay rights. The response I have is asking the same person whether they support rape. On hearing an answer in the negative,  my query being whether the reason behind such support is due to having been raped before. You see the idea that only homosexuals can support the gay movement could well draw the analogy that only a rape victim must support the anti rape campaign. 

A review of a book on the history of the gay movement in the United States reminded me of another book ( Aids Sutra ) I had read a long time back about the LGBT (Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transvestite community). It had contributions from a wide variety of writers and was a good read, did a lot to throw light upon the various sub groups that form the LGBT community. The only thing they have in common is the violent reaction they faced when they come out of the closet. Last year, or was it the year before, we had a lot of brouhaha over the repealing of Article 377 by the Delhi High Court. Suddenly, you had the entire political community en masse crossing ideological borders and coming together to save India from aping the West it seems. The wannabe politicians who would today be yoga gurus, random community leaders weighed in with their bit of nonsense and suddenly it was as if repealing the law was the worst thing that could happen to India after the Emergency. So what is it ab...

From the Independent  and thanks to Sweta Sorab 1.  "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Beijing, during a 1986 tour of China. 2.  "Ghastly." Prince Philip's opinion of Stoke-on-Trent, as offered to the city's Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997. 3.  "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf." Said to a group of deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band in 2000. 4.  "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes." To 21-year-old British student Simon Kerby during a visit to China in 1986. 5.  "You managed not to get eaten then?" To a British student who had trekked in Papua New Guinea, during an official visit in 1998. 6.  "You can't have been here that long – you haven't got a pot belly." To a British tourist during a tour of Budapest in Hungary. 1993. 7.  "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" Aske...