Daddy's Day!
Today is Father's day. So we shall have inane cards, offers on food and clothing, crazy ideas et al. Everything except true emotion.
Right, down to me dad, who I would assume would read this some days hence (when Mom actually gets him to sit, saying your son has written something about you.) Love you Dad.
My memories of my dad revolve around 3 stages of my life - learning to cycle and drive, the time I was pursuing my Chartered Accountancy and ofcourse now.
The first part about the time I started to learn how to cycle. I remember it was a BSA (I forget which one, though). So weekend mornings, we would go off to the lake (for the benefit of non 'Calcuttans' - it's a nice green area with a lake surrounded by roads where vehicles are not around, dominated till today by morning walkers, toddlers and cyclists. So that is where we would go - me cycling, dad walking behind holding on to the cycle. I think the walk did him good though! :P
That slowly graduated to him walking behind and not holding on to the cycle. I used to be horrified at this and keep turning back and whine if I found him not holding on. In return, he would frown and ask me to look straight and believe in myself. I would do so with muttering something under my breath which I think he never caught on. In time, he began jogging behind me and I would furiously cycle away. With time, I forgot the man who taught me to cycle and would roam around on my own.
Flashback - I used to hate going to school till around class 3. I used to insist that my Dad come to visit me during the lunch breaks. And he used to do so, everyday almost. Today, when I am working, I wonder how the fuck he managed that? Anyway, one particular incident sticks out in my mind - one afternoon, when he was returning after the lunch break, I managed to dodge the guard at the gate and run after him. Sight to behold - Dad walking back to work unaware of hoopla behind, 7 year old me running after him, 50+ year old guard running after me. Wish there had been a picture of this one. (To complete the story, I managed to catch up with Dad, the guard managed to catch up with both of us and I was whisked back into the alma mater).
P.S. I think a lot to do with not wanting to have kids is because of who I was as a kid! :P
The next bunch of memories revolve around learning to drive. Dad was always gung ho about me learning to drive and this involved me, an Ambassador and my Dad. SO off we used to go again, to the vicinity of the same lake. It started off with me moving the gears when he used to drive and graduated to exchanging places with him. I would always crib (I see that cribbing and whining seem to be a common trait here) about driving a better car and he would retort that once I learn how to drive this beast, I could pretty much drive anything much that comes my way. I wonder, if he was keeping my future options of becoming a bus/truck driver open? But jokes aside, I guess a lot of the driving with ease I do today is because I could power around an Amby that day. Soon, I was ferrying Dad around and he got a personal driver in me but I was just glad to be able to drive.
When I was in college, I was simultaneously pursuing my CA as all kids doing B.Com were wont to do. There was no better reason than the fact that everyone else was doing so. So, I would go to college in the morning (early morning!), go to a damn stupid place to do my "articleship" for 300 bucks a month and then return to tuition and then home. Life was pretty damn hectic. Somewhere along the way (probably after flunking the second set of examinations called Inter, I decided I shall not pursue CA anymore. It (as most decisions of mine, then and still tend to be) was not any calculated decision, arrived at after much thought and with alternate avenues in mind. It was just that, one day I woke up in the morning and decided I do not want to be doing this my entire life. The only other thing I could think of was MBA since the people not pursuing CA were pursuing their Masters in Business Administration and it was my way out. It turned out to be a pretty good decision (of course I had no way of knowing that then) but that story is to be left for another post. When Dad heard my decision (combined with that failure in Inter), he was really upset. So much so, that he refused to speak to me for quite some time. I really want to know today, what went through his mind. I can imagine it was the thought of my future and how I would combat it but at that time I thought he was being very unreasonable! :D
Cut to today. I chat with Dad once a week (maybe 2) mostly about finances (or the lack of planning on my behalf), buying a house (or me not wanting to), spending too much (on completely frivolous stuff) and so on and so forth. But I see a changed Dad, someone who now knows he can trust me to make some decisions on my own, someone who breathes a sigh of relief, probably, at me turning out alright, someone who doesn't have to keep worrying about me now. I love him for his advice (then and now).
Dad - this one is for you - for all the times I have NOT said "I love you." Do remember, I have meant it each and every time.
Right, down to me dad, who I would assume would read this some days hence (when Mom actually gets him to sit, saying your son has written something about you.) Love you Dad.
My memories of my dad revolve around 3 stages of my life - learning to cycle and drive, the time I was pursuing my Chartered Accountancy and ofcourse now.
The first part about the time I started to learn how to cycle. I remember it was a BSA (I forget which one, though). So weekend mornings, we would go off to the lake (for the benefit of non 'Calcuttans' - it's a nice green area with a lake surrounded by roads where vehicles are not around, dominated till today by morning walkers, toddlers and cyclists. So that is where we would go - me cycling, dad walking behind holding on to the cycle. I think the walk did him good though! :P
That slowly graduated to him walking behind and not holding on to the cycle. I used to be horrified at this and keep turning back and whine if I found him not holding on. In return, he would frown and ask me to look straight and believe in myself. I would do so with muttering something under my breath which I think he never caught on. In time, he began jogging behind me and I would furiously cycle away. With time, I forgot the man who taught me to cycle and would roam around on my own.
Flashback - I used to hate going to school till around class 3. I used to insist that my Dad come to visit me during the lunch breaks. And he used to do so, everyday almost. Today, when I am working, I wonder how the fuck he managed that? Anyway, one particular incident sticks out in my mind - one afternoon, when he was returning after the lunch break, I managed to dodge the guard at the gate and run after him. Sight to behold - Dad walking back to work unaware of hoopla behind, 7 year old me running after him, 50+ year old guard running after me. Wish there had been a picture of this one. (To complete the story, I managed to catch up with Dad, the guard managed to catch up with both of us and I was whisked back into the alma mater).
P.S. I think a lot to do with not wanting to have kids is because of who I was as a kid! :P
The next bunch of memories revolve around learning to drive. Dad was always gung ho about me learning to drive and this involved me, an Ambassador and my Dad. SO off we used to go again, to the vicinity of the same lake. It started off with me moving the gears when he used to drive and graduated to exchanging places with him. I would always crib (I see that cribbing and whining seem to be a common trait here) about driving a better car and he would retort that once I learn how to drive this beast, I could pretty much drive anything much that comes my way. I wonder, if he was keeping my future options of becoming a bus/truck driver open? But jokes aside, I guess a lot of the driving with ease I do today is because I could power around an Amby that day. Soon, I was ferrying Dad around and he got a personal driver in me but I was just glad to be able to drive.
When I was in college, I was simultaneously pursuing my CA as all kids doing B.Com were wont to do. There was no better reason than the fact that everyone else was doing so. So, I would go to college in the morning (early morning!), go to a damn stupid place to do my "articleship" for 300 bucks a month and then return to tuition and then home. Life was pretty damn hectic. Somewhere along the way (probably after flunking the second set of examinations called Inter, I decided I shall not pursue CA anymore. It (as most decisions of mine, then and still tend to be) was not any calculated decision, arrived at after much thought and with alternate avenues in mind. It was just that, one day I woke up in the morning and decided I do not want to be doing this my entire life. The only other thing I could think of was MBA since the people not pursuing CA were pursuing their Masters in Business Administration and it was my way out. It turned out to be a pretty good decision (of course I had no way of knowing that then) but that story is to be left for another post. When Dad heard my decision (combined with that failure in Inter), he was really upset. So much so, that he refused to speak to me for quite some time. I really want to know today, what went through his mind. I can imagine it was the thought of my future and how I would combat it but at that time I thought he was being very unreasonable! :D
Cut to today. I chat with Dad once a week (maybe 2) mostly about finances (or the lack of planning on my behalf), buying a house (or me not wanting to), spending too much (on completely frivolous stuff) and so on and so forth. But I see a changed Dad, someone who now knows he can trust me to make some decisions on my own, someone who breathes a sigh of relief, probably, at me turning out alright, someone who doesn't have to keep worrying about me now. I love him for his advice (then and now).
Dad - this one is for you - for all the times I have NOT said "I love you." Do remember, I have meant it each and every time.
gorgeous! :)
ReplyDeleteto your ps line: think of who you can be to a kid :)
Brilliant...liked it!
ReplyDeleteThe emotions very well put through, many of us readers would relate with.