Building teamwork – of digging loos, climbing mountains




Someone rightly said – the only law in the jungle is 'survival of the fittest'. All the jungle talk is because the last 8 days I have been trying to ape Tarzan (the guy in the spotted loin cloth jumping from tree to tree) in his habits.
The occasion – an offsite organized for us by ONGC
Day 1: off to Uttarkashi, some place called Nehru Institute of Mountaineering. Run by the Indian Army the make Ranga seem a saint by comparison and of course timing by their standards would put even Timex to shame. Here am assuming Timex keeps decent time.
Day 2: wake up at 5 (OH MY CRAZY GOD IN HEAVEN) and by 6 off to some place by foot - where we spend the rest of the day doing rock climbing. Decent stuff. Pi happy.
But it was not to last. Pi realizes he has to sleep in sleeping bags, in tents 8 to a tent and do the second greatest job in the world (called shitting) by going into the dense jungle with a bottle all the while hoping the brushing sound nearby is someone else shitting and not some leopard or wild boar trying to play hide and seek. GREAT. THE WILD OUTDOORS.
Day 3: Pi kind of happy because there is very little walking (u se Pi has become a tad lazy) and there is exciting stuff called stream crossing where u r upside down hanging onto a rope and slithering across … of course u have to wade back and that's when u realize that weather is kind of cold and u tell urself that u have feet because they have gone numb and there are horror stories in ur head abt how people get their toes amputated because of frost bite. Well nothing of that sort happens and life is back to tents and bottles in jungles again.
Day 4: OUCH OUCH …. Ever wondered why all the freaking mandirs and so high up? We climb over mountains and whatever not to a height of about 9000 feet (could only be more not less) and that too before lunch … HIGH up on this mountain is a mandir and a pujari ----- Pi's take on them, pujari once upon a time lost his way reached high up, looked down, got shit scared and decided he will not go up but will bring unsuspecting assholes upstairs (up mountains would be the ideal phrase) and the best way to go abt that is to build a temple and before u could say ooh lalalala there is temple pujari and a bunch of weirdos making their way up to meet the above 2. And then after having lunch climb down again. Pi's take on the day: u pack ur own lunch, take it high up into the mountains and then climb down again. Well that's the highest I had to climb and hardest I had to work for a bloody lunch.
Day 5: OH MY *&^&#^&%#&&#*#&*#*#@@***@ ... whew that was reimventing someone’s family tree!!! Felt nice! Never mind ….. MORE climbing of mountains and this time to get to a lake to feed fish … WHAT THE FISH INDEED!
Day 6: Walk back to this holy Bloody Nehru Institute of Freaks oh I mean mountaineering oh whatever ... And
Day 7: Reach back to dehradun SO after 8 days of not shaving, bathing and shitting in wild Pi is back in the civilized world. In between India has lost a match, the Pope (May his soul rest in peace) has lost a life, and Pi has lost weight.
P.S. Feels awkward not sitting in grass and having food, not walking 2 km with a bottle every morning at 5 to shit in the open and not sleeping in little tiny sleeping bags every night. And hey there are things called TVs, cell phones and computers … great feels nice. Any good friend of Maneka Gandhi and/or member of PETA … please do write and tell her that wild boars and leopards (both of who were supposedly sighted in between by people) are an endangered species because 57 assholes go into the jungle and leave behind 3
their traces twice a day … after such a stink any leopard would willingly walk into Hitler's camps rather than stay in the jungles of Uttarkashi.

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