One third life Crisis

Pi has entered his thirtieth year ... yippee ... happy birthday to him ... one small clarification ... entering the thirtieth year doesn’t mean he is thirty years old ... it means he is 29 (he has turned 29). Clarification required for all the snide remarks about old age etc that will come in following the above statement ... not to mention the raised eyebrows about the unmarried status.
But Pi shall endure all that and this story is not about him turning 29 or old age related dementia that he suffers from ... this is about the day he entered the thirtieth year ... wow what a beginning and if this is a harbinger of things to come ... woo hoo ... this is going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride.
Like a good child I decide to spend my birthday at home this time ... last time I did that I was in college (and that was a LONG time ago.) keeping the parents happy is imperative especially in recessionary times when you realise you don’t earn enough, spend too much (the spirits tend to run high every weekend) and thus the meeting of the two has to be bridged by the people who gave birth to you contributing to keeping you alive. If you put it that way to my parents maybe they will never give me any money but going by earning trends the only way for me to reach anywhere close to a luxurious life is INHERITANCE.
Anyway once decided about where to spend the birthday I do the ticket bookings, holiday takings and whatever else not that is required to make sure a non alcoholic birthday is spent with the parents (that also is a first in a long time).
And then the day before D Day arrives and I have taken an off just to make sure that I am home and comfortable as the birthDAY is ushered in. The first inklings of something being wrong sets in when the JetLite sends a message about the flight being postponed from 8 to 10 ... hmmm doesn’t matter shall still reach when the date on the watch changes I think. Ofcourse I also stupidly decide not to change my cab which I have called for at 4:30 since I have heard of multiple security checks and whatever nots.
Sitting in the cab having the last “sutta” before touching down at home I am happily at the airport by 6 that’s a good 4 hours before the flight leaves. Run into a batchmate from the MBA days not a very happy occasion (the weird trend continues – flight delayed + spend time with an ass**** not nice) as it is someone who I have willingly ignored when in the same city but then dismissing morbid trends I dismiss off the fellow as politely as I can and proceed to wait a little more making mental remarks about the general public (this has deserved its own writing and have done so hence wont focus on this part.)
DING DING “mumble mumble” (in Kannada) ... DING DING “mumble mumble” (in English) ... DING DING “mumble mumble” (in Hindi)!
I understood those announcements as much as anyone reading this would have understood the line above ... for fun I walk up to the JetLite executive (cute girl) and ask her what’s up (well not really, actually asked her what the announcement was above) ... she gives the famous plastic fake smile (think it’s called, service with a smile, smile which means I think you are retarded and don’t deserve to be on the flight but what the hell I can’t do anything about it and therefore will smile and curse you at the same time) and said the flight has got further postponed and will now leave at 10:30. SIGH birthday in mid air – anyway it’s a first and what’s with the customary calling at 12 anyway?
Its 10 now and I have a grumbling stomach I have had only some chicken patty and some blue berry muffin post lunch and I am HUNGRY. As I relish some other hen related items I hear a commotion and see the Jet Lite counter almost run over by a huge angry mass of people. The poor cute girl of the paragraph above is trying to explain to some ugly old man something. The chivalrous me gets up to see what’s up (again) and realise the flight has been postponed to the next morning 8 am ... chivalry disappears faster than the tar on Bangalore roads and cute girl has become ugly monster and ugly man is now saviour of the common man (role change) atleast in my eyes. Some arguments some raised voices, some phone calls later there seems to be a consensus.



Isn’t it strange that when something like a flight postponement happens there is no Manager or some other fancy sounding titled person around but just the chunnu munnus (foot soldiers is I think what the English translation would be) around while if we were on the flight every idiot and his cousin brother would be announcing their names on the public address system (Deccan is especially annoying they seem to want to tell you what we are passing below – for example I am trying to sleep, which I almost always do anywhere and everywhere and suddenly a croaking voice tells you “This is your captain Mike Flyinghigh speaking ... the outside temp is blah blah, the inside temp is blah blah and we are now passing above the Krishna river ... and Mikey uncle seems to make it sound like a huge favour ... dude if you didn’t control the inside temp I would be dead, your airline would be sued and you would not have a job and as for the stupid river I look out and see clouds what do u think I am superman with x ray vision?)
Anyway I am digressing ... so the final agreement is non Bangalore residents get hotel accommodation and to and fro travel; Bangalore residents get to and fro travel to their homes. SIGH ... home alone on the birthday ... might as well have alcohol ... YIKES no beer and no cold drinks at home after all had finished everything before leaving and its past 11 (by now).
By the time I get the cab allotted and get home its 1:30. I need to wake up at 5:30 and leave (poor cabbie is sleeping somewhere I assume) ... 4 hours of sleep ... like really as if that is going to ever work. SO I get down to reading, my eyes hurt so make myself a neat vodka with lime cordial and ice (it is the third peg by the time all this writing has taken place) and sit down to write the story of my thirtieth year on planet earth.
Happy birthday to me ... think I will start my birthDAY with vodka, cigarettes and FLOYD (haven’t done that in a while). It’s not that bad after all.
☺