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A recent article on the 3 leading women in the Bollywoodesque thriller, that the political scenario in the country has become, led to this post.

The article concentrated on Behenji, Amma and Didi (Mayawati, Jayalalitha and Mamta to the uninitiated). It talked about each of their individual strengths and what appeals about them to the voting populace. But while the political nuances were spot on, the article did touch upon a very interesting tidbit of information which I quote below from 2 different paragraphs.

While Indian men have made it fairly difficult for ordinary women to feel comfortable as equal participants in the political domain, they tend to succumb easily to the demands of women who have the shrewdness and determination to grasp some dynastic or other leverage that provides them with the crucial opportunity to demonstrate that they are stronger and more resilient than the entire range of men in our politics …’

This is a variation of our family scene wherein many men find it hard to deal with wives desiring equality. But the very same man has no difficulty in accepting his mother as an authority figure … or even a wife who begins to assume matriarchal authority.

AND

Such a cult does not allow for friends or equals. Authority such as this has to go unquestioned. To find oneself in such a role is to be beset by a deep insecurity. There is no one you can completely trust.

Full article here

I read this and I thought where would it be more obvious than in the work place? Working in an industry which promotes (or claims to) equal opportunity, I think women would be more than happy to be part of a progressive organization. But think deeply and it would be far from the truth.

I look at peers and I realize that each of the women I work with and aspire (or have reached) roles that have additional responsibilities have had to work twice as hard as me. It may not be twice as hard in terms of work per se but more about proving more than necessary that they are not pushovers/trying to pass time till they are married/and some more.

It is very difficult for the Indian male to accept a boss who is a woman. Let them work from home for a couple of days and it is suddenly because she is a woman. A man does the same and it must have been because he had lots of work pending that he just could not complete. Let them not come to one of the drinking parties and people secretly heave a sigh of relief because then they can indulge in college room humor. Let them not bond with their male colleagues in idle chatter and it is because of that reason that the team reporting to them won’t get ahead in life. If you really need to succeed, you need to stop being a woman and be a man instead.

For the few women who do manage to break the barrier, the first question that is asked if whether they have a mentor which is a euphemism for whether she is sleeping with someone.

They are also expected to be dictatorial which, is the particular character trait that the article said is expected. In order to be successful, you have to be aloof, unfriendly and unquestionable. If you are none of the above, people would not take you seriously and you would be doomed in your career. You would have to put a façade which says “don’t mess with me!”

SB was recently telling me about how awfully lopsided the whole maternity leave scenario continues to be in the country. The law, archaic as it may be, states that women are entitled to ~3 months of maternity leave. It is really sad that no company has thought it important enough to have their own laws regarding the same. SB had said that you don’t understand how important it is for the woman to be with the baby for the first year of the baby’s development. And in case she is allowed only 3 months then she is actually going through immense guilt for leaving the baby and/or deciding that she would have to give up her career. The minute she extends her leave, everyone writes her off as not coming back and even if she comes back how it would be appropriate that she not be given important roles because she would want to go back to her family. If the company, on the other hand, promoted more women at the work place, they should have options in place where people could work from home/work partly for certain days or all days and any number of permutations on how to make life more comfortable. That would be a true statement of intent on behalf of the company not some half-baked email about celebrating women’s day!