The Saga of Smarty Sen and Pee Gee

First an introduction. Smarty Sen, henceforth for brevity's sake to be referred to as SS (not to be confused with the more notorious SS of Nazi fame although our friend smarty sen does have a few jhatkas and matkas of the original Hitler’s people) and Pee Gee (once again for brevity's sake to be referred to as p ji. In this regard it would be worthwhile to mention that the very suffix, ji, brings about images of a bureaucrat, mantri etc in the old sense of the term, you know the type that have chai, laze around and basically are the office eye sore and other sores also. I am not sorry and that is exactly the picture I wanted to convey ... our dear one man band has now become a podgy, paunchy, baldie chai peeing (in the drinking sense and not the pissing) little sore spot. Whew that took away a lot of frustration ... anyway so now that u get the general idea of the two, let’s get on with the story.
Well into one of the earlier days of p ji's new turf, I should actually use the word posting as he has actually got transferred, but he is staying at home, eating the proverbial 'ghar ka khana' and walking to office and back bcoz he is that near and the word turf somehow seems to convey a meaning of apnapan (u know belonging etc etc) and so will call it p ji going to home turf.
Sorry now I am digressing. Well as I was saying one of the early days of p ji's new turf. He hasn’t got his comp or telephone, till now it is just a table and chair which passes off as a cubicle. And right next to him is his good friend and senior from MBA days, SS and the good part SS has still not arrived. Here let me digress purposely to say that time for giving a bigger picture to the whole micro story unfolding. Office starts at 9:30. Our dear friend p ji wakes up at 9, has breakfast cooked by his loving mom and ambles in to office on time. However, SS, on the other hand is not on home turf. Being a true blooded Bengali, he refuses to see any non Shangied Mumbai or non Singapored Delhi as being even a patch on dear old Kolkata. Communism, slums and lack of infrastructure (and hence a future for any ambitious young lad) be damned. So he has to wake up in a company accommodation in Noida, make his own breakfast and then travel trans Yamuna. This takes a good part of the morning. But the very conscientious SS generally reaches on time (here picture Mark Anthony making the Caesar is honourable speech small diff SS is not dead). However, today is a different day. SS is late. The reasons are unknown but it could be so that he doesn’t have to tolerate p ji.
Anyway, P ji seeing this lovely opportunity presented to him on a platter (missing SS) quickly jumps on to the nearest comp (belonging to SS) and sees who he can impart his gyan to. Ah what fun, he sees online his batch mate, colleague, fellow traveller
on numerous journeys, scourge of his evil ways and the guy he puts on a pedestal and thinks is God who is in the Mumbai office (OK the last bit is writer's fantasy … I was wondering how to refer to myself and since God seems a bit presumptuous, think will stick with The Chronicler (for brevity's sake C Man)). Gives it a whole new matrix image making it uber cool and stuff …
Now cut to history of C Man. He is also not on home turf, has to make his own breakfast (and therefore conveniently skips it), travel by local train (anybody who has been in Mumbai will sympathize with this) and reach office. So crushed in between a whole reeking mass of dirty stinky people, wondering why he loves this city so much, he is not in the mood for chit chat.
And it is at this point of time that p ji decides to provoke our C Man by detailing his morning shenanigans (ghar ka khana and all that jazz, thank god he didn't say he used the ghar ka loo … I mean come one it has to stop somewhere … it’s not like the C Man squats on highways or the local train tracks and just lets go.) anyway result C Man sees red.

">see I get up at 9, come to office ard 10, park my bike right at the gate, take a lift... leave at 5 30, reach home y 5 45. eat, sleep... I m having such a cool life. Why are u telling me things which r tough to understand?>"


The above is the exact conversation that took place.
And hence the saga of this chronicle whereby the C Man vows to put to paper and show everyone the true picture of the (mis)adventures of SS and Pji.
Well at this point of time we join them when Pji is pretty unhappy that the CMan is not responding well to his conversational titbits.
And then there ensues a war of words which the CMan is just using to prove that p ji has lost a bit of stuff up there.
CMAN>>>>>>>>>>u nuts?
Pji>>>>>>>>>what r u saying?
CMAN>>>>>>>>what r u saying?
Pji>>>>>>>u r confusing me
CMAN>>>>>>Ur confused anyway how can I confuse u even more?
Pji>>>>>ya I know... sth are impossible
CMAN>>>>like u
Pji>>>u like me? Even I love u
CMAN>>>>I DONT LIKE U ASS I said somethings are impossible like u ... man ur either crazy or very horny
Pji>>>I don’t have horns
CMAN>>>so ur bike is horny???
Pji>>>>>everything that has a "***" becomes a "***y" ?? That way u will become assy? >>>>and nosey. and... u can be more creative with that :)
AT THIS POINT CMAN GIVES UP and lets Pji be.
But things don't end there. SS finally makes it to office. Pji sees him curses him (for he has to leave the comp now) but his evil brain thinks up an evil plan.
He manages to brain wash the conscientious SS (who is after all not that conscientious after all …. Pls revert back to Mark Anthony speech, delete from memory and go to speech by any current politician maligning another --- because that's what’s happening now) and 10 mins after he arrives SS accompanies P ji to have ice cream …. TIME TO BE NOTED 10:45, it’s not even been an hour since Pji has arrived and 10 mins since SS came into the picture. Well half an hr and a few ice creams later (1 is in SS case, in case of Pji it was 2) they proceed to waltz back into office only to realize that it’s almost 11:30 and time for lunch (officially 1 o clock ) because pji has whetted his appetite.
We will stop for now and continue in the next session!